Six Degrees of Ambivalence? The Mommy Track and the Return to Work

The countdown has begun. Not to the end of the current administration, although personally my own happiness meter will be off the chart when that day arrives. The countdown I'm referring to is my own personal one - in less than 72 hours, give or take a few, I will be a gainfully employed contract employee. The wait is over, the looking is done (for now, or until August, whichever comes first) and now it is time to answer the most important question to ask before starting a new job. What am I going to wear?

Seriously, the countdown is one that takes me toward my career and away from my family. It is so strange, being a child of the 70's and growing up to believe that women could and should do anything, be President of the United States, for example. And here we are in 2008 and for goodness sake, a woman is one of two candidates vying for the Democratic nomination. But, and I do mean, but, I feel like I am living in a pre-1970's world where most of the women I know are SAHMs, running along the "mommy track." Most of them have advanced degrees and years in the employment arena, but have made the choice to stay at home and spend these years being a mother. I've been home most of my kids' lives, but always working from home. Working relentlessly from home. In fact, the times I have been fully employed elsewhere have almost qualified as a vacation because when I come home I get to be a mom and attend to the household, instead of trying to fit in work, homelife and mothering in that way too short a time zone known as a day.

Yesterday I caught some of Teri Gross' interview with Meg Wolitzer about her new novel, "The Ten Year Nap," that presents a fictional depiction of women with advanced degrees who choose to stay home with their kids, only to question the decision 10 years later.

As someone who waited to have kids until my 40s, if I waited 10 years to get back on track, I don't want to even think about just how far out of the job market I would be. I already find myself waking up in the middle of the night with too much anxiety about how young my kids are, how old I am, how many productive working years I have left, retirement funds, college funds -

Before I spin off into another anxiety attack, I'd love to hear from those either following or leaving the 'mommy track' - do you experience regret, relief, remorse, redemption? All of the above?

And what did you wear on your first day back to work???

Hillary's Got Voice and I Am Ready To Hear What She Has to Say

Hand's down the one of the best line I have heard in a long time:

“Over the last week, I listened to you, and in the process I found my own voice.”

Holy moley, the chills just came down my arms and I've got goosebumps all over again.

Thank you for saying to the country what so many women hold in their hearts and never get to say. What they, meaning the guys, don't understand is that you just don't get what happens when a powerful woman's back is against the wall. We are built for the long run, so step aside and let us through.

What I love about Hillary, what emerged this last week and is something I never thought I would come to say about her is this - She is very openly a human being whose team has kept bottled up too long. I love her humanness that isn't couched over in oratory skills that overwork to 'create history.' Don't be so focused on making history, just help me get my bills paid and reasonable health insurance for my family. Help us to become a humane place to live, work, do business and enjoy our lives. Set the example of responsibility, public service and human rights that HC has done her entire career. What I saw tonight in Hillary's eyes were these three things: intention, action and experience. I don't care if it doesn't sound like it is coming from a pulpit or a bima. I don't go to my voting booth for that sound, if I want that, I go to my shul.

I also love that she is a hard and tireless worker. Her work ethic inspires me and has me looking forward to getting up tomorrow to start creating my new life.

What I would tell Hillary, if I was able to sit and share a cup of tea is this. Treat your speeches like foreplay. Make every moment count. Keep the pronouns to 'I' and 'we.' Start off with a big BANG like you did tonight, an honest and heartfelt BANG and then spend the next however many minutes reaching for the next one and the next one. The great thing about us women is that we have so much that unfolds and it all unfolds all at once. Let it unfold and take your time. And then give it with all the lustiness and heart you have.

Bravo, Hillary for you shedding the shackles of your script and stepping into your voice. A voice that is loud and clear and well thought out and intelligent and angry and funny and kind and motherly and a voice that is singularly yours.

And while I'm at it, check out Gloria Steinem's fantastic OpEd piece in today's New York Times. Think she will consider being HC's running mate?

Hillary, thanks for finding your voice in New Hampshire. You just made it much easier to hear you all over the country.