Valentine's Day Morning and Yellow Slips of Legal Paper - A love post to my beloved

Last night, just before we fell asleep, my eyes flew open.

"I forgot to get the girls' a Valentine's Day present."

Jack had one leg under the covers and took a deep breath. "Where should I go?" It was nearly midnight. "Walgreens...," I answered quietly. He sighed again and got dressed and headed out into the night. I fell asleep.

In the morning, just as I was waking up, three warm bodies appeared in our bed. "Happy Valentine's Day, Mama." I kissed their foreheads and we cuddled in bed, our normal Sunday morning routine. I kissed them again and rolled out from under the covers to have my coffee and as I came into the kitchen, I saw three heart decorated cups on the kitchen table. Inside each were small books of Valentine's temporary tattoos and chocolate cover, heart-shaped marshmallows. Tucked in there as well were small pieces of yellow legal paper with these words:

"Will you be my Valentine? You're ours forever. Love, Papa and Mama."

I sipped my coffee and smiled at this wonderful man I'm lucky to share this life with. Not only did he go out just minutes before collapsing from another ordinary exhausting day, but he managed to pick the perfect (and highly affordable) gifts, AND shared the giving of the gifts with me. Not to mention let me take the first, and strongest, cup of coffee.

The girls tumbled into the kitchen and they saw the cups on the table. Their eyes widened and their faces lit up with smiles. They each took out their yellow slips of paper and one by one, read the loving words, written in their father's unique handwriting, a script I've loved seeing on paper for 25 years. Then they took turns reading them out loud and flipping through their tattoo books. They all hugged their papa and within five minutes at least three different tattoos were on their cheeks, hands and arms. They clutched their gifts, hugged Jack again and then Julea said, "I'm keeping this piece of paper forever."

As parents, we often wonder what our children will remember, fearing that the not so good, times like we've had for the last few weeks, will overtake the good. But this morning, waking up to three toasty and delicious Valentines, and witnessing their deep love for their father, put that fear to rest. This morning also helped me remember that small gestures bring forth so much - a chocolate heart, stickers and a small piece of yellow paper and a Valentine's Day that will be remembered forever.

Happy Valentine's Day

Shock, Comfort and Sarah Palin

For the last two weeks, I've been scratching my head trying to figure out how a country could be seduced into the circus surrounding Sarah Palin. And I think I've got an answer. Shock and comfort. This is just my gut talking and I'll do the research later, but, my personal experience with trauma and shock is that when I'm feeling that way, I usually reach for something that represents comfort - a warm blanket, a baseball game, old episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, red wine and dark chocolate. So what does a country do when it is suffering from prolonged trauma and shock? Return to what we know, or what we think we should know. Return to rhetoric, to the ideas that make us believe we are all going to be all right in this post-Bush/Cheney syndrome we are coming to the end of. To hell with policy, with truths, with what makes sense and is staring us in the face, that a hanging chad at the end of McCain/Palin will take us past reason, past caring, past any semblance of truth.

When we are made to be afraid of everything, then we cling to the things that will make us feel safe. Home, country, the Almighty. Rarely, when most of us are scared out of our bootstraps, do we ever reach for reason.

The real legacy of the Bush/Cheney octet is this - they have successfully created a country where a significant group of citizens are scared. On a daily basis. And not scared of monsters under the bed scared. Scared of basic things such as jobs, bills, health care, education, our planet's well being, security. I know because I'm one of them.

I recently had a heated conversation with a school mom about McCain/Palin and she launched into a talk about self-sufficiency, not expecting others to take care of you and I asked her a simple question - what is so bad about being a nation of people which cares about one another, which translates that care into conscious action that helps to better all of our lives? When did we become a country who cannot display care?

I look at Sarah Palin and I shake my head. I've waited my whole life to vote for a woman for executive office and this is the best we could do? I listen to her scorn and evasion and call herself a reformer and wonder, is this the best we can do? I watch John McCain fumble over words like 'fundamental,' strong' to describe the debacle our economy has become and I wonder, what happened to that war hero?

Is this John McCain the best John McCain can do?

Is this the best we can do?

Please pass me the chocolate.