Monday, January 12, 2009

The Homecoming Queen Mother

Being a mom is really like being homecoming queen every day of the year. And I wonder, since I was never anything close to a homecoming queen, what it would be like to be the most beautiful, the most popular girl in school every day of the year. Sort of would make you sick to your stomach, or other people sick to their stomachs. Sort of would make you want to vomit. And maybe want to vomit right on that homecoming queen's tafetta gown.

This is my way of saying that stomach flu season has hit our house. Or to be more correct, hit me. Friendly fire would be the best way to describe my role in this latest round. The origin of the title of this blog comes from the last time we, or I should say, I was visited upon by the ghost of vomit past with such a vengeance.

It started the day before school was to begin. I'd just served up three cups of hot chocolate and tiny marshmallows, the post-Sunday school bribe cashed in by all three girls. Twenty minutes later, one of the twins complained of a stomach ache and went in to take a nap. Five minutes later, tears and vomit. Thankfully, she made it to the waste basket. An hour later, not so lucky. The first case of being vomited on and 2009 was only three days old.

Two days later, oldest daughter sat next to me on the couch and complained of a stomach ache. Two times a lady.

The other twin has not displayed any signs of the stomach flu. But I've already sat her down and talked with her:

"Honey, if you feel like you have to throw up, it's okay. Your body is just trying to get rid of the yucky stuff."

She nodded at me while eating her third bowl of cereal.

"But do me a favor. If you feel like you have to throw up, find your father and throw up on him. I've already been thrown up on by both your sisters."

What followed only confirmed my position as the eternal homecoming queen of our family. Her eyes filled up with tears and she wailed:

"That's not fair. My sisters got to throw up on you! I want to throw up on you too!"

I guess it's never to late to claim my homecoming title. Time to shine my tiara.


JDG said...

Marvelous LT. Had me howling--and I was there for most of it. Regarding more of it: I am available if needed. "Bring it on." JG

Liquide said...

If you don't already subscribe to The Sneeze's rss feed, you must! Very awesome "kid" humor too, though he may be a bit more vulgar.

Mary Golden said...

So true, so true! Someday you'll cherish this.... And the smell will bring it all back to you.

Lisa Trank-Greene said...

Thanks, Liquide, I will check out The Sneeze and will look forward to the vulgarity, which is exactly the stage of my kids' anyway and one we never really leave!