Bulletin Boards and Black Lint

January 31, 2010

It’s Sunday morning and the panic has started to set in. The suggestion that my bulletin board be taken down because our oldest cat paws at it before dawn has set me off in a negative direction, as well as a kitchen that’s in the midst of a DIY remodel with missing cooking tools and kids waiting for breakfast. The whole scene rubs me the wrong way and does not help my feeling that things are out of control and may never come back into balance.

Yoga is in 30 minutes. Will I be able to find any sense of balance or calm there? The last few days of practice have been filled with a head that is way too chatty and a nervous system that is in total adrenal overload.

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I made it to Yoga. What a blessing. The teacher and I have a great laugh about my being able to balance on one leg, other leg straight out in front of me while I pick a piece of black lint out of my toes. I realize that if I can do this small, yet ridiculously impossible act, I can pretty much handle anything. In a room heated to 106 degrees, sweat dripping from every part of my body, I’m still able to see something that I want to change and with my head balanced on my left knee, I accomplish what would make most people fall over on to their ass.

When my mind is relatively clear in yoga, which it isn't very often, I'm pleasantly washed over by all the possibilities that exist for me. As if the fact that I can do these 26 sometimes seemingly impossible postures opens up that potential to all parts of my life. 

When I left the studio, the car was waiting for me in the parking lot, so I could head home and have some needed time alone to eat and put my thoughts in order. I chose one thing from the torrent of ideas I'd had during class and jotted one down before I headed to get the kids from Sunday School:

• Research domain names for new business

When I got home, while the girls played and practice their instruments, I researched three domain names that are part of a dream I hatched a few months ago and which I'm ready to begin forming into an idea and written down plan. The names were all available and I chose them, putting a small down payment on my present and future. 

A glimmer of hope enters my heart. I know myself well enough to know that if I pay for something, I will have a better chance of following through on it than if it remains just in my head. First steps taken and it's not even February.