Thursday, January 10, 2008

Day 3: Falling in love again

Today was a terrific day, so I must be getting my period. Just kidding. This getting laid off is one of the most productive things that has ever happened to me.

The day started off brilliantly, a bright orange sunrise hitting the eastern sky just as we turned onto the music teacher's street. Teacher was fresh, oldest DD were fresh, twins were occupied in a new stage of drawing objects - even I was awake. I love the musical banter between she and the teacher, who is tough and loving and expects excellence and cooperation. All great life skills learned along side music.

We skipped out the door and off to school, amidst frost that was still clinging to grass and pine trees, some fog and steam rising in between the blades. No cross town traffic, so all three were in line and ready to seize the day with five minutes to spare.

For the first time since the layoff, I had the house to myself. I made myself breakfast and did the email. Took out my pad and wrote my three goals for the day:

1. Creativity - write this blog

2. Well being - go for a runwalk.

3. Career - find the domain name I'd lost that I had registered for my consulting business. A true awakening to my self-sabotage. Not only had I not recorded the necessary information to set up the domain, but I recycled the yellow pad with all my brainstorming. A hard truth to look at today, but a necessary one.

I got dressed for my runwalk and took one look at the dog.
"Milo, wanna go for a w---"
What is it about dogs and the word 'walk'? I get no further than the letter 'w' and they are jumping and leaping with joy. I grabbed the leash and we headed off in the van. DH called and we decided to meet at the lake and go for a walk together.
For the first time in probably 12 years, we walked and talked and talked and walked without interruption. Talked about each other, ourselves, our goals and dreams. It was better than any date in any restaurant and we have made a promise to do this at three days a week. Drop the kids off at school, get the dog and head outside. Cheaper than marriage counseling and we'll both lose weight.
The twins were beyond ecstatic to see the dog at school, a real status symbol - as you can see by the photo above.
The rest of the day was spent being a mom and catching up with my kids. Falling in love all over again with my husband and my children. Glad to be out of the drab gray world I was stuck in for two months and into the fresh air.
Two consulting leads look promising, but in the meantime, I'm getting on an airplane at a way too early time in the morning and heading to LA.
It's only been three days since I was laid off. But something is a foot here, something is transforming itself in how I feel I deserve to spend my time, my days, my work -my life.
The big word being bandied about these days is "change." All the candidates are heavily peppering their speeches with it, as if just saying the word will have the impact of the word. Change, at least for this pre-flight, PLS blogging mama, is facing the unknown with a plan that is different than the one that got me into the gray cube to begin with. It's having the courage to take a walk everyday and let my mind expand as much as the Rockies that stretch out in front of me. To shape that expansion into a joy-driven, creative endeavor that shouts out - YAAWWP!
Till then -

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