My 53 Places to Go for the Rest of My Life

The New York Times recently published a very posh list of 53 places to go for 2008. Why 53? Is there an extra vacation week for the really rich that the rest of us working schlubs don't know about? Is the 53rd place related to 2008 being a leap year??? 

Anyway, after viewing the list, which ranges from Laos, which in case you missed it that Cambodia and Vietnam are so 2007 (gag me with a spoon) to Sylt - just have to love the description of it as the Hamptons of Germany (hard to conjure that one in my brain) with reed-thatched houses, nudist beaches and designer stores, the list made me realize that there are many parallel universes and that I don't exist in 99.9% of them. 

I have been compiling my list of 53 Places to Go for 2008 and would love to share it with you. What you might notice is the eco-friendly, small footprint nature of this list, since most of it involves never having to leave my house, or my block. 

1. A clean house, preferably mine. 

2. An uninterrupted phone conversation. That would be my equivalent the Times #28.

3. A steam cleaned minivan, again preferably mine. 

4. Fresh made coffee in the morning. I am lucky enough to get to go here every morning, thanks to our nifty Cuisinart Brew Central and my DH's adept understanding that Mama without coffee waiting for her is not a Mama to wake up to or spend much time with. 

5. A hot bath with water that never gets cold. 

6. A hot bath without an audience of either my kids or the dog. 

7. A clean bath tub. 

8. A second functioning bathroom with a door that locks.

9. To sit down and eat a meal without being asked for anything.

10. To read an entire chapter of an adult-level book without the book falling on my face because I've collapsed in sleep.

11. Sex without kids in the house. 

12. Sex without the dog on the bed. 

13. Sex without the cats in the window.

14. Sex.

15. To not have to repeat myself until I am red in the face.

16. To match all the unmatching socks before I die.

17. A clean refrigerator. 

18. To find all the missing Polly Pocket shoes in the shag carpet and never lose them again. 

19. To not forget to buy anything at the market. 

20. To use the coupons I have been clipping and not using for 10 years, which would actually make it possible for me to go to #14 with DH.

21. To actually cook and eat all the food we buy at the market. 

22. To learn how to use my cell phone like a pro.

23. To never have to walk into a Wal-Mart again. No offense and I am not being some snob here, but they make me go wiggy.

24. To never have to sit through trailers in a movie theater again. To the folks who thought it was a really good idea to show the trailer to "Spiderwick Tales" and the new Nicholas Cage film before "Enchanted," I wish you a lifetime of night terrors. 

25. Unlimited time at Lowes or Home Depot with someone else footing the bill.

26. To get the dried masking tape from the failed trim paint attempt off our front living room window. 

27. Sockets that fit plugs. 

28. Someone else to paint my ceilings.

29. Self-making beds. 

30. Slice and Bake cookies - see 12/20 posting.

31. Five seats to the World Series, preferably with my beloved Rockies in it AGAIN!

Okay, I have to take a break here to get back to my really cool job. And because this list is making my head spin. I would take any three of that list and it would last me for a year. But I'll go ahead and close out the list for now, with the rest of it to be filled in when I recover from fantasy-vacation overload. Coming in at #53 is pretty much a no-brainer:

53. Uninterrupted time with my kids. As much as I might bitch and complain - multiple examples of these will soon be posted in the archives - my greatest vacation would be to have a certain amount of uninterrupted and non-scheduled time with my kids to do nothing but hang out in our pajamas and see how much we can all annoy one another. 

Happy traveling!